Embracing the Ineffable

There is a place to which our souls can fly, where words fail, definitions cease and comprehension is an act of intimacy, of knowing. It is an apex, as if riding on the power of a massive ethereal swing,  flung to unimaginable heights, but always forced to return, powerless against the gravity that hurls one back into a world of things, of names, of boundaries... where "one" is just another word.

I have been there -- to this place where I lose myself for a singular instant, a created being aware of my Creator. Standing before G-d?  No.  There is no place, no "before" or after -- only a kind of awesome consciousness, a knowing. Then whoosh!  I am yanked back by a chain that I cannot control and "reality" exerts its dominion over me once again.

It is painfully exasperating, being unable to remain more than a moment in that "place".  If only it were as the embrace of husband and wife, being able to remain at length in each others arms, even after the moment of climax had passed. If only the instant could last long enough to truly breathe it in.

I mumble a prayer: Please, G-d, why do I feel to helpless in this dizzying dance, partnering in one instant with the  ineffable, and the next with a hard and material world?  Running toward You, but never for long enough.

Before I have time to feel too sorry for myself, I know -- at least it seems so.

There is no pendulum, no swing, no movement, no multiplicity of dancers.

There is no "moment", no real and no ethereal.

It is all one. 

The only way one can live in that "presence" is to know that it exists in every place and time. Simply put: One needs to learn, to develop the ability to sense G-d in every aspect of this world -- whether in reverie or the most base of experience. 

The glimpses afforded in those precious ineffable moments are simply reminders of what we are looking for...all the time.

We are taught that we can never truly reach G-d Himself, never touch nor see Him, and even the most gifted of the sages could not pass beyond the sfirot to embrace His reality.

And it is true: We cannot touch G-d -- but He can touch us.  We can only reach out to G-d, but He can reach us.  We cannot embrace G-d, but He does embrace us.

Hidden in the deep darkness that envelops us, only frustration seems to result from looking for G-d's face in this world. We cannot really see here at all.

But we can know, in the most intimate of all meanings of that word, and open ourselves to receive  the embrace that lasts not a moment... but beyond a lifetime. Timeless, eternal. Ineffable.



Copyright 2008 by Susan M. "Shoshana" Zakar
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